I don't like cancer. My colon is sick, and you don't even want to know what that is like. I don't like surgery--it's scary. Being put to sleep does not appeal to me. What will they do to me while I'm sleeping? Will they talk about those stretch marks that my 9 pound 12 ounce baby tattoed on me some 16 years ago? What if I wake up too soon and they don't know it? Or, what if I don't wake up at all?
But when Dr. Caudill told me I had it I had a choice to make. I could choose to make God small and decide that cancer was bad for me or I could choose to watch to see how God will take cancer and transform it into my GREATER GOOD.
I choose to wait and watch for God's GREATER GOOD.
Too often we cling so tenaciously to our limited understanding of what is "good" that we demand God to give us what we think is good and in so doing we forfeit what He knows is best.
Cancer stinks but thus far God's used it for some really great things.
I'm the prayer minister at TSC. And for years I've dreamt of our congregation experiencing corporate prayer together. I know that where 2 or more are gathered God is in our midst, but when 1000 are gathered 998 others get in on the experience!
My cancer brought 1000 people to TSC on Sunday night March 7 for the most powerful corporate worship and prayer service we've ever experienced. The March 7 service was originally scheduled for January 31, but we had to postpone it due to snow. I was aggravated at God for doing this and wondering why on earth He wouldn't let us have our gathering on the date we'd scheduled (and marketed for). Little did I know that He was rescheduling for my good and His glory.
1000 people experiencing God in prayer (while the rest of the world sits at home watching the Oscars) is certainly the GREATER GOOD.
When the Christ followers in the Vanderbilt Endoscopic Clinic chose to be bold with their faith and pray with Tom and me before my procedure--God brought to us His GREATER GOOD. There are simply some things about God you will not know unless you meet him in the prep area of the Vandy endoscopic clinic.
Our family has not cooked a meal since March 1 but we've eaten better than we have in years. My son TJ assures me that these meals are the GREATER GOOD!
Many people have promised me they are praying. I have people praying for me from Africa to Mexico, from Las Vegas to Florida, and just about everywhere in between. Some of them have chosen to fast when they pray (for the very first time), and all for me. Anything that draws people to the Throne of Grace and stretches them to exercise spiritual discipline is the GREATER GOOD!
It's a no-brainer for me. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
And if Jesus allows cancer in me then I am confident He will use it for my GREATER GOOD and His GREATER GLORY.
You want to know Dr. Caudill's dangerous prayer he shared with me?
"Lord, teach me what I need to be taught; take me where I need to be taken; and use me in the way I need to be used."
It's a prayer for the GREATER GOOD.
P.S. This will be my last pre-operative post. Tuesday, March 23 Dr. Alan Herline will be taking the cancer out of my colon. I cherish your prayers for him, for Tom, for my children and for me. We will post my status on our church's website (Tom doesn't know how to blog). The address is www.thompsonstationchurch.org
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